look no pants
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
