Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
