Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
