are you still at the devil's house?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
