TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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