I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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