Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
