dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
