I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
