Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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