i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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