She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
