PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
