Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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