Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
