ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
