lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
