do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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