I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
