i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
