what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
