I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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