I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
this is an emotional support booty call
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
