My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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