My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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