its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
