At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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