Non-Jews are for practice
im having a threesome with these popsicles
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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