Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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