Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
