But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
