i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize