Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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