I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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