Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
