He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
