My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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