im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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