Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
