i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
