carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
