You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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