How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he just fucked me for my cheese.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
