The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
