It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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