these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I supernannyed him into submission
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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