I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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