I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
