A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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