That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
