Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
