I skipped work to stalk him.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
