Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize