Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
