You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize