Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
