What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
