Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
