All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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