PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize