i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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