zippers are such a cool invention
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
