I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
